page 1-4 edits

From: Greg Aldering (aldering@panisse.lbl.gov)
Date: Thu May 01 2003 - 00:17:28 PDT

  • Next message: Robert A. Knop Jr.: "Andy/Peter/Greg -- Important/Urgent"

    Hi Rob,

    I'm going to have to enter my edits as I make my way through the paper
    so as not to hold-up your progress. Here are edits for page 1-4. I
    am including Eric Linder's edits as I go.

    So far, these are relatively minor:

    p1: Affiliations for Aldering are out of order (this is only case)

        "... that confirm previous ..." ---> "... that confirms previous ..."

        "... or equivalently a ..." ---> "... or equivalently, a ..."

        "... large scale structure ..." ---> "... galaxy redshift distortion ..."

        Several cases where X +Y -Z isn't correct for -Z

        "... suffers significant ..." ---> "... suffer significant ..."

        "... host-galaxy reddening ..." --> "... normal host-galaxy extinction ..."

        In the footnotes: "#7336", etc. should be "GO-7336," etc.

    p2: "... they yielded ..." ---> "... these studies yielded ..."

        "... different linear combinations ..." Are they always linear?

    p3: "... provide best ..." ---> "... provide the best ..."

        "... even under the assumption of a flat universe ..." Shouldn't this be
        "... even without the assumption of a flat universe ..." since for
        a flat universe, OM ~ 0.3 implies dark energy?

        Several cases through paper of "WPFC2" which should be "WFPC2"

        "... is so much ..." ---> "... is much ..."

        "... was possible with ..." ---> "... was possible for ..."

        "... tend to redden ..." Is this too soft a statement. Perhaps this
        clause should start "however, normal dust will redden the colors ..."

        "These color usually dominate ..." --->
        "Extinction corrections based on these color measurements usually dominate"

        "... of errors in color ..." ---> "... from errors in color ..."

        "... of this paper ..." ---> "... in this paper ..."

        "... galaxy two-point correlation results." --->
        "... galaxy redshift distortion measurements."

    p4: When you say "March/April" are you just counting the search, or also the
        references. If the latter, then you should also say "November/December"
        for the first search.

        "... are at spaced ..." ---> "... are spaced ..."

        "0.3 < z < 0.8" ---> "0.3 < z < 0.9"

        "... obtained at with ..." ---> "... obtained with ..."

        "... LRIS (Oke ....) ... Keck 10-m telescope." --->
        "... LRIS ... Keck 10-m telescope (Oke ...)."

        "... as type Ia ..." ---> "... as Type~Ia ..." (our use "type" everywhere)

        "For these all were identified as being of Type Ia ..." -->
        "These were identified as Type Ia ..." -->

        "Sne Ib/c ..." ---> "SNe~Ib/c ..."

        "... the redshift z of each ..." ---> ".. the redshift, z, of each ..."

        Take first sentance of paragraph starting with "Each of ..." and
        "Supernovae were ..." and combine into one, like this:

        "Each of these supernovae were imaged with two broadband filters using
        the Planetary Camera (PC) chip of WFPC2, which as a scale of 0.046 "/pixel."

        Then eliminate the "Supernovae were ..." sentance starting the next
        paragraph.

        Where you discuss the filter curves, is there a reference?

        "... flux should be constant ..." ---> "... flux is constant ..."
        (Unless you are suggesting that there are variable galaxies!)

        "... which fit a PSF ..." ---> "... which fits a PSF ..."



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